Mascots

So I've been thinkin about this for a while, but seriously, the world is in love with mascots. Cute little anthropomorphic animals that make us laugh and somehow excited about a sporting event. It really doesn't make much sense, but it's there.

There are the online mascots like the Geico Gecko. Seriously, I think that little guy could get on-screen and say "I'm going to eat your children" in his little accent and people would still spend 15 minutes to call the number. And by the way, isn't that the most ambiguous promise of savings? "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your car insurance." That's worthless. And the 15%? They totally just say that to match the call time, it's all meaningless. Yet, that cute little green guy gets people to call. Props to the ad wizards who thought up with that one.

I think Cosmo is another prime example. I was at a Basketball game with Jon and I mentioned that Cosmo can get away with anything. He could come up to a mother and steal her child when she wasn't looking, and she would probably start to freak out and yelling "Where's my child!?" until she sees Cosmo across the arena, fleeing and holding the child tucked under his arm, and she'd say "Oh, phew, it's just Cosmo!" and give some exasperated, half-smile and his crazed yet beloved antics.

It's true, believe. True story, at that same game I threw out that hypothetical situation, not more than 5 minutes later, Cosmo come down the stands right next us. He leans forward and grabs some girl's hat off her head, puts it on, and proceeds to dance around with it. She turns around all pissed off until she sees that it's just Cosmo, and just smiles it off.

I think we forget that there is just some random college guy in there that can break-dance well. He isn't our friend, he's just some dude. Yet I think he could get away with murder and nobody would care, because it's Cosmo that did it.

That's pretty impressive.

And one last point: I don't know when you first thought that getting a picture with Cosmo at the football game was cool, but it really isn't. And if you need proof, look at any students profile pics on Facebook. I'd be surprised if you couldn't find at least one picture, probably taken during his/her Freshman or Sophomore year, with Cosmo at a football game. He doesn't know you, he doesn't care, just because he walked by in your section during the third quarter doesn't make you special. Just keep that in mind.

BTW, Tijs=Suck for not writing in this yet.

The End

Robot Servants

So I'm sitting here watching Star Wars IV, and I started thinking about the long and illustrious history of robotic slaves. Seriously, they are everywhere, and they seem so useful. And I decided to make a top 5 list of my favourite robots. I hope you enjoy.

#5

The B-2 robot from "Lost in Space". This guy was dead useful, with super strength and sweet weapons, and a killer tagline, "Danger Will Robinson....Danger".

#4

Roomba. Yeah, maybe he gets hungry and needs candy, and also get's freaky with Buster Bluthe (who is also half machine), but Roomba is pretty rad anyways.

#3

Johnny 5. I can't make this list without including our beloved Robot from Short Circuit. Yeah, he was over the top, but he read really fast and did great 3 Stooges impersonations. So, here he is, number 3.

#2

R2-D2. You can't make a robot list without included this 100% bad a**. He has jets, shocks annoying imp creatures, fixes ships in mid-flight, and pretty much anything else you want. He has such a rad multi-purpose tool, it would have made Billy Mays and Tim Allen green with envy.

#1

And Number 1 goes to.....Mr. Butlertron. Seriously, who's cooler than Mr. B? He has a magic cardigan, can take out Scantrons with trick multiple choice questions (C, scrap metal, you #$# !*@#), and console just about any student with his keen insight and sympathy. And, he can diagnose ADD.

Oh Wesley......

Who Thunk It?

Well this blog is off to a rockin good start, Crandall with the explanation, Jon showing everyone first hand that none of us has learned anything about writing since we graduated from 6th grade English. (You were the best ever Miss V.) Initially I was opposed to the idea of making this blog, but after seeing the stellar start we've initiated, I feel obligated to contribute. Who knows, maybe with this blog we could win the Nobel Peace Prize, I mean, Obama got one, how hard could it be? Anyways, on with my first blog post!!!

You ever wonder who comes up with the randomest things? Like take this for example, who ate the first egg? I mean, I can almost visualize Big Tom and Henry, two old fat white men sitting around on the farm watching there chickens cluck around. One of the chickens stops walking, bends over and craps an egg out of it's butt. Big Tom turns to Henry and says, "You see what came outta that there chickens butt?......I'm gonna eat that" Awwwwwwww yeah!

Writers Block... Already

Dude.

It's probably one of the worst things ever. And it's all happened to us. We've all been in my shoes- where I am, right now- sitting in a chair in front of a blank computer screen and had no clue as to what direction we were going in our written composition. This blog just got created... I got some pressure to write something clever and witty as a post, and I needed to get to work. I sat down in my seat, arched my hands over the keyboard, and... nothing came. (...that's what she said) But, seriously. It's imperative during blog writing to be both witty and humorous... but I got news for you, Walter Cronkite, you can't force this genius. After mulling the present situation over in my thoughts, I still found myself in the same place as I was before.

So, I wrote about it. Now, I know this might come to many as a surprise, especially since my first blog post isn't a bunch of nonsensical comments with the phrase 'pee pee' spliced intermittently throughout. Well... I'm not done yet. There is still more pee pee to come. (Nice.) Unfortunately, I still have thought of nothing to write. But, I'll make a commitment to everyone reading. (I know there is a lot because we are so popular... its ridiculous.) Whenever I see something stupid, retarded, or off ill report, and I have to say something, I will let everyone know.

Until next time.

The Master Plan

So today, we were perusing the interweb and came across some witty blogs. They were comparing cheap digital watches and talking about the differences between horses and dog, and we all had a good laugh.

Unfortunately, we aren't particularly humorous or clever. Most of our jokes can't be posted online, in case somewhere down the line we are applying for a job and our boss Googles our name, or our parents or girlfriends happen to actually read the info section on facebook and click on some long forgotten link, all of which would lead them to here: the opus magnum, the whole summum bonum, the zenith, the pinnacle of our ever dwindling college careers.

We need this to be as epic as a Titanic sequel, where they bring up the sunken ship, rebuild it into a space ship, and crash it into an asteroid while fighting ghosts and aliens; it needs to be as clever as someone with a British accent saying.....well, saying pretty much anything; it needs to touch you like....well, we we're going to say Michael Jackson, but again, keeping it appropriate. How 'bout the power to move you? That's telekinesis, Kyle.

In essence, this blog is a forum in which we, meaning Jon, Alex, Baird and Tijs, can write down something that hopefully will make you laugh, will make us look really funny and interesting, and maybe even something memorable and clever enough that we can unabashedly link it in our facebook status.

We hope you enjoy.